Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Thinking
I'm gonna have to step it up beyond running. Is that a good idea? To add more workouts or too much for the beginning mover lol?
Friday, July 12, 2013
Run run
Last nights run honestly was SOOO hard but not bad but I did have to cut it short ish. Let's see how do I tactfully explain this. I finished 6 of 8 rounds or whatever they're called, cuz I guess lets just say maybe running has sped up digestion or metabolism??? Either of which is great. I see though I get sooooooooooooo freakin BORED! Like walking at least I can look at Facebook or text but running, even for 60 damn seconds my ADHD ass is hating it!! ANY IDEAS OR TIPS TO HELP THERE????? Cuz I'm running again tonight. Driving to Kansas this weekend so not sure how well I will keep it up in a strange town but my goal is to get one run in and at LEAST ONE ON THE BEACH in port A next weekend!!!! YES! Lol
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Day 4 Time to run!
Here I go down the pretty well lit up streets of my neighborhood thanks to Chas for the reminder... I truly freakin forgot. I won't lie, a little teary eyed.
Loss. For PTSD people it's anxiety driven, self punishing misery. You know when you realize you can't be friends with someone anymore, betrayed again, or just, I don't know I just don't want to be friends with them anymore.
If running really has magic I pray it takes over now.
Day 3 (7/10/2013)
Well no running a again but I am making time for myself so that's a good thing. I had dinner with my best friend I haven't seen in like a year. Starting to feel down like I'm wasting my time trying to do this. How on earth do I prioritize this running? When I already don't have a life so I jump at any opportunity to socialize with adults lol maybe I can learn some prioritization strategies? any suggestions? How do you do this and have my kind of busy life??
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Day 2 (7/9/2013)
No running today due to an unexpected long day at work. Being a Nurse, no matter the job, it can be very demanding and stressful which adds to my anxiety, forgetfulness and mood. I'm learning to not be so hard on myself such as feeling like a complete failure for not running on day 2 but I realize it's new and I won't always be able to run everyday. But in a substitute form I did swim a couple of hours to be MOVING which is my main focus (thus the blog title lol) but I so not look forward to not having an excuse to run today. Ugh. It actually hurts and I get winded at 90 seconds of running... Kind of embarrassing!!
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
1st "Run"
Well...I still hate it but I did it. I got through most of the first work out of the couch to 5k day. Wish I could say I got Ll the way through but I skipped the last jog and warm up but I am proud, I actually did it but I still hate it.
Monday, July 8, 2013
Day 1
For lack of a better idea of a title: day one is all I got.
This is a blog I decided today to create and am working on now without preparation or much forethought so, bare with the progress.
I come to you today to talk about my adventures with "running". I place that in quotes because I have many friends and no doubt they have many that agree that running is a sport, a love, a reason to wake up in the morning, I even have one of my best friends say "this is why I was born." No joke, to run. For 3 years now I've searched high and low for something else, anything else ANYTHING to do that I could find enjoyment and all my friends are runners. It is so discouraging, I hate running. I hate walking for that matter. I get short of breath easy, cranky in the heat or cold, I just wanna be where I'm comfortable. And that thought my friends, still took years to register as the thought that well, made me think lol.
I have no real purpose set out for this blog except to help keep me accountable to just MOVE today and MOVE tomorrow instead of sitting around fat and miserable. I hope to have all my wild eyed giddy running friends help in holding me to that accountability somewhat like the best friend that said "then fucking just do it" which was today, which motivated me to actually do this blog. I do have in the back of my head high hopes that all this "running" talk is what its cracked up to be. With very few options for a thirty something middle aged divorced mommy of 2 busy busy full time working single mother can particpate in, I thought I should give this running crap a real chance. Can't really knock it unless you try it right??
So here is a brief run down of me statistically. I'm 35 (ok, almost 36). I've "ran" sort of before but have had pretty bad shin splints but that was a different mind frame. I hate working out I hate running, I love sports, I love being outside but hate being hot. I'm a good 50lbs over weight by BMI standards, I feel miserable and have low ish self esteem. I'm a fighter, good resilience but hate being embarassed. I have a severe disorder called complex PTSD that's been a surviving mechanisism in my life but also caused problems in my 15 year marriage that has been over about 3 years or so. My ex and I raise our 2 kids together the best we can. We have a better relationship now than we did 3 years ago that's for sure. But, my emotional state is largely controled by my disorder. So I have to work extra hard to not be depressed. So this gives me something else to do :) I hope you will join me. Help and comments, support and motivations and tips are all welcomed (uh hem needed).
I start today using couch to 5k app thingy. I'm fearful I wont even finish that, more fearful I won't do it but tell those holding me accountable I did so they won't think I'm a slug ass loser. But I'm going to be as honest as I can. I hate running, everyone knows that. I think it's stupid but don't judge those that love it I mean, I love peanut butter on my pancakes and that's ok.
What even brought running to me wasn't even that everyone in my life and around me LOVE it, even THAT didn't work on me. What worked is my sister Taresa and her sister in law Michelle started doing these 5K's together and posting them on facebook. Now I don't know what motivated them, but what motivated me was 1. "(pouty face) Ugh, why is my sister doing stuff with other people and not me? I wanna go! (they live in DFW and i don't btw) then the 2nd was when I payed closer attention I thought "OMG these look fun!" I've WALKED 3 miles for a good cause before surely I can do these color runs, zombie runs, beer runs, mud runs etc cuz they look like so much fun and I can do them with Taresa and Michelle and I miss my sister"
So as the first 5K approaches and I am just starting the couch to 5K thing my realistic goal is to just actually BE THERE and finish by any means possible. I know I wont be a super racer or make good time but if I show up....just if I ACTUALLY SHOW UP....THAT will be a truly amazing, miraculous feat! Stay TUNED!!!!
This is a blog I decided today to create and am working on now without preparation or much forethought so, bare with the progress.
I come to you today to talk about my adventures with "running". I place that in quotes because I have many friends and no doubt they have many that agree that running is a sport, a love, a reason to wake up in the morning, I even have one of my best friends say "this is why I was born." No joke, to run. For 3 years now I've searched high and low for something else, anything else ANYTHING to do that I could find enjoyment and all my friends are runners. It is so discouraging, I hate running. I hate walking for that matter. I get short of breath easy, cranky in the heat or cold, I just wanna be where I'm comfortable. And that thought my friends, still took years to register as the thought that well, made me think lol.
I have no real purpose set out for this blog except to help keep me accountable to just MOVE today and MOVE tomorrow instead of sitting around fat and miserable. I hope to have all my wild eyed giddy running friends help in holding me to that accountability somewhat like the best friend that said "then fucking just do it" which was today, which motivated me to actually do this blog. I do have in the back of my head high hopes that all this "running" talk is what its cracked up to be. With very few options for a thirty something middle aged divorced mommy of 2 busy busy full time working single mother can particpate in, I thought I should give this running crap a real chance. Can't really knock it unless you try it right??
So here is a brief run down of me statistically. I'm 35 (ok, almost 36). I've "ran" sort of before but have had pretty bad shin splints but that was a different mind frame. I hate working out I hate running, I love sports, I love being outside but hate being hot. I'm a good 50lbs over weight by BMI standards, I feel miserable and have low ish self esteem. I'm a fighter, good resilience but hate being embarassed. I have a severe disorder called complex PTSD that's been a surviving mechanisism in my life but also caused problems in my 15 year marriage that has been over about 3 years or so. My ex and I raise our 2 kids together the best we can. We have a better relationship now than we did 3 years ago that's for sure. But, my emotional state is largely controled by my disorder. So I have to work extra hard to not be depressed. So this gives me something else to do :) I hope you will join me. Help and comments, support and motivations and tips are all welcomed (uh hem needed).
I start today using couch to 5k app thingy. I'm fearful I wont even finish that, more fearful I won't do it but tell those holding me accountable I did so they won't think I'm a slug ass loser. But I'm going to be as honest as I can. I hate running, everyone knows that. I think it's stupid but don't judge those that love it I mean, I love peanut butter on my pancakes and that's ok.
What even brought running to me wasn't even that everyone in my life and around me LOVE it, even THAT didn't work on me. What worked is my sister Taresa and her sister in law Michelle started doing these 5K's together and posting them on facebook. Now I don't know what motivated them, but what motivated me was 1. "(pouty face) Ugh, why is my sister doing stuff with other people and not me? I wanna go! (they live in DFW and i don't btw) then the 2nd was when I payed closer attention I thought "OMG these look fun!" I've WALKED 3 miles for a good cause before surely I can do these color runs, zombie runs, beer runs, mud runs etc cuz they look like so much fun and I can do them with Taresa and Michelle and I miss my sister"
So as the first 5K approaches and I am just starting the couch to 5K thing my realistic goal is to just actually BE THERE and finish by any means possible. I know I wont be a super racer or make good time but if I show up....just if I ACTUALLY SHOW UP....THAT will be a truly amazing, miraculous feat! Stay TUNED!!!!
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